I feel…good?


Well this is a twist.  I’m starting to feel good more than I feel bad.  Maybe enough time has gone by.  Maybe it’s my sticky notes with affirmations all over the house that say, “You are creative,” “You have a good laugh,”  “You can do it,” and then on down the hall, “YES YOU CAN!”  Because I know my old pattern.  If I told myself I could do something, in the NEXT STEP I would say quietly, no I can’t.  Gotcha self!  Maybe it’s that I avoid seeing him and hearing his voice and communicating by text email and phone, at least for now.  If I was still within ten feet of him I would walk up and slap him hard.  If I’m going to slap someone, it’s going to count.  I do have a hard time enjoying this happiness and peace and still have this old relationship in a coffin chained to my ankle, but I know I’ll reconcile it some day.  Some how.  But for today…I feel good…I knew that I would, now…No I didn’t.  People told me I would and I didn’t believe them.  People were right.


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