Well this is a twist. I’m starting to feel good more than I feel bad. Maybe enough time has gone by. Maybe it’s my sticky notes with affirmations all over the house that say, “You are creative,” “You have a good laugh,” “You can do it,” and then on down the hall, “YES YOU CAN!” Because I know my old pattern. If I told myself I could do something, in the NEXT STEP I would say quietly, no I can’t. Gotcha self! Maybe it’s that I avoid seeing him and hearing his voice and communicating by text email and phone, at least for now. If I was still within ten feet of him I would walk up and slap him hard. If I’m going to slap someone, it’s going to count. I do have a hard time enjoying this happiness and peace and still have this old relationship in a coffin chained to my ankle, but I know I’ll reconcile it some day. Some how. But for today…I feel good…I knew that I would, now…No I didn’t. People told me I would and I didn’t believe them. People were right.