I will…and I did…mostly

imagesPFVNEIFDI will arrive wearing my new confidence like a well-tailored suit.  CHECK
I will smile.  Separating is a good thing.  Let’s do it!  CHECK
I will treat him politely, as I would a stranger.  No TMI given or taken.  CHECK
I will go with a goal of moving as many pieces forward as possible.  CHECK (although, not many pieces were moved)
I will have calm nerves and a calm gut. CHECK
I will use “I” statements instead of sarcasm. CHECK
I will see him, and treat him, like a stranger.  No inside jokes or personal digs. CHECK – (I reacted to some of his words like, “My tolerance of you is very low.”  But, I didn’t do too badly. 
I will state my point of view fearlessly and with the respect it deserves. CHECK

If I cannot do these things, I will excuse myself, leave money for my share, and exit.  ACTUALLY, HE LEFT AND I HAD TO PAY THE WHOLE BILL.  OH WELL.

I will leave proud of my behavior. CHECK(I got a little heated but not too bad)
I will leave proud of my word choices. CHECK – (There was a little “yes I did/no you didn’t)
I will leave proud of my decisions. CHECK
I will leave relieved.  CHECK
I will leave and take an Ativan, if needed.  NO NEED
I will leave to have dinner with my fascinating, uplifting daughter.  CHECK
I will leave the space he occupies and look forward customizing my own space.  CHECK


3 thoughts on “I will…and I did…mostly

  1. It sounds like you did well. I hope you got him to do what he needs to for your daughter, If not, you are going to have to let your daughter know so she can have this conversation with him. It will be difficult, but she may have to do it.

    Do you have temporary orders yet for spousal and child support? I would take this statement as a bad sign “My tolerance of you is very low.” of his intentions to keep this friendly. Are you in a state that requires parents to support through college?

    He sounds like he is an ass. And you ought to add his half of the bill to what he owes you!


    1. Thank you for your response! The case is not in suit yet, so no temporary orders. My state doesn’t require parents to support their kids through college, but education is very important to him. I hope he’s just bluffing…


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