My heart is sore (so I should stop banging it against the past)

heart quote

Yesterday I said my heart was sore.  And it is.  But I do realize that while he caused the first bruise, I keep putting it in situations where it receives more bruises.  I do that.  Why do I keep doing that?  What’s wrong with me?

Actually, someone described the turmoil we’re slogging through when our spouses have affairs and it’s one word:  Insulted.  INSULTED.  It’s the ultimate insult.  People say divorce is kind of like a death.  The cheating spouse chooses to go, though, and thereby says, “You’re not good enough anymore.  In fact, she’s so much better than you are.”  I already have insecurity issues.  Just kill me now.

Every time I declare that I’m done doing stupid shit, I make myself a liar.  Part of me really wants to stop.  I want this to be the last time.  I need to wrap up this heart of mine and let it heal.  That means not going out of my way to get into his way.  Can I do it?  The evidence is not on my side…

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “My heart is sore (so I should stop banging it against the past)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s