Sometimes you’re the asshole.

My daughter broke up with her boyfriend.  She is off to college in a few weeks and he is going to be a senior in high school.  She wrestled with this decision.  She was away from home this summer and started hanging out with a young man where she was.  She was upset about all the things she was giving up with her boyfriend of over a year, but had feelings for someone else and knew it was probable that the relationship wouldn’t make it through  her going to college.  I can’t help but compare this behavior to her dad’s.  Sure, she’s younger.  She doesn’t have children and decades she’s leaving, but her dad started his pattern of behavior before I came along also, wife #2.


I hate him.  I love her.  I see her point of view more kindly.  But it scares me.

She found out one of her friends from high school has been romancing her ex – a young woman also going to college in a matter of weeks.  That’s some cold shit on both of their parts.  “Don’t tell her parents,” my daughter said, “And don’t write anything on her Facebook page.”  (She’s familiar with my lioness impulses to crush her enemies).

We do this to each other.  Sometimes you’re the asshole.  Sometimes you’re the victim.  Sometimes you’re the opportunist.

Maybe by seeing her role more favorably I can forgive her dad…

Nah.  Not yet anyway.

Moving on


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