I feel the same today – into the 7th month – as I did on 4/29. Once again, plans and dramas, albeit good ones, have set a pace and just recently slowed down. Is this is? Maybe it’s a wave thing…tsunami, aftershock, smooth as glass water, and on and on. Rolling waves sound nice. Is that enough to make me happy now?
I’ve been on this roller coaster for a month and a half. I have lived through many belly flips and hairpin turns. Now I seem to be on a flat stretch. Nothing is happening and that’s new. Even bad drama is drama and I think I was addicted to it. Now what? Do I create good drama? I can’t fill my whole life with kids and work. I don’t even want to look ahead. Is there another steep climb? A gut wrenching plunge? I’m scared. I’m lonely. I’m solitary, even with my wonderful cheering section. You know who you are. If you are “religious,” please pray that I make it to the end of the ride intact. If you are “spiritual,” please send some good energy my way, or light a candle, rub a stone, whatever. I need you and will for some time.