Was that wrong?

Spent Saturday afternoon through Monday before work with my bf.  He has been working 14 hour “days” (nights) and we did a lot of his Christmas shopping, wrapping, housework.  He was so appreciative.

It felt wonderful to help someone in that way, but it meant leaving my college-aged daughter at home for that time.  I guess I have created this dependent child.  She looks for me to feed her, and sometimes entertain her, when she’s home, and she’s someone who hates to be alone.  Also, I remember being  in college.  It’s your mother’s house.  I wouldn’t have cooked anything or baked anything without asking my mother if it was ok.  I’m sure there’s a little bit of that too.

Yep, I felt guilty.

She doesn’t want to meet my bf, as I have said.  And, as I have said, I get it.  BUT, I only get to see him two days a week because of our conflicting schedules.  So, I saw him.  Was that wrong?

The house is full of food, a cat, she has a phone to reach out to friends, or her dad.  A car.  Money.

But, she texted me Sunday afternoon and asked when I was coming home.  I said, “Tomorrow morning.”  She replied, “Oh.”

I hope what I did was ok.  I hope we are taking baby steps and she doesn’t feel like I abandoned her.

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Also, this morning I was taking a shower and had a deja vu.  Over Thanksgiving I was taking a shower, and as I reached for my razor, it was not in it’s normal place.  In fact, it was missing.  My daughter took it upstairs to her shower to use.  I don’t mind when she “borrows” clothes, or shoes, or make up, but she hardly ever returns them!  I got a new razor and left the old one in her shower.  Today, same thing.  No razor.

I left what I thought was a funny, light, note to “the razor thief.”  I hope it makes her feel good about her mom.  I was trying to make it feel good for me.

Moving on

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3 thoughts on “Was that wrong?

  1. You sound like such a lovely mother. This made me yearn for a parental figure to be so attentive to my feelings. Although, I know I would push it away, somehow feeling offended at their coddling. Anyways, I love reading your posts. They are witty and interesting. Particularly the ones about being a mother, girlfriend, daughter, sister.. it gives me interesting insight into the lives of “real adults”.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! I am no expert on anything, but if you glean anything useful for your life, and/or you enjoy my posts, I am thrilled about that! I am sorry for the things with which you are struggling. My daughter (19 also) and I just found out a girl who used to bully her has asked for help with her self harming behavior. We never know who is really inside, do we? Again, very kind of you to comment. Take care of yourself. We are not in a competition to be “well.” You are doing the best you can and, therefore, just fine. XX

      Liked by 1 person

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