Spent Saturday afternoon through Monday before work with my bf. He has been working 14 hour “days” (nights) and we did a lot of his Christmas shopping, wrapping, housework. He was so appreciative.
It felt wonderful to help someone in that way, but it meant leaving my college-aged daughter at home for that time. I guess I have created this dependent child. She looks for me to feed her, and sometimes entertain her, when she’s home, and she’s someone who hates to be alone. Also, I remember being in college. It’s your mother’s house. I wouldn’t have cooked anything or baked anything without asking my mother if it was ok. I’m sure there’s a little bit of that too.
Yep, I felt guilty.
She doesn’t want to meet my bf, as I have said. And, as I have said, I get it. BUT, I only get to see him two days a week because of our conflicting schedules. So, I saw him. Was that wrong?
The house is full of food, a cat, she has a phone to reach out to friends, or her dad. A car. Money.
But, she texted me Sunday afternoon and asked when I was coming home. I said, “Tomorrow morning.” She replied, “Oh.”
I hope what I did was ok. I hope we are taking baby steps and she doesn’t feel like I abandoned her.
Also, this morning I was taking a shower and had a deja vu. Over Thanksgiving I was taking a shower, and as I reached for my razor, it was not in it’s normal place. In fact, it was missing. My daughter took it upstairs to her shower to use. I don’t mind when she “borrows” clothes, or shoes, or make up, but she hardly ever returns them! I got a new razor and left the old one in her shower. Today, same thing. No razor.
I left what I thought was a funny, light, note to “the razor thief.” I hope it makes her feel good about her mom. I was trying to make it feel good for me.