We “love” people for how they make us feel about ourselves, right?
If a person starts to make us feel bad about ourselves, we try to get them to modify their behavior, until they make us feel good again.
We want people to make us feel:
- proud of ourselves
Please don’t remind us of issues and circumstances we haven’t figured out yet within ourselves, or bring to light things we’d like to hide from everyone else.
Is that “love?” Are we supposed to love people for who they are or for how they make us feel?
It’s complicated, and not very flattering to anyone, especially love affairs that have gone on for decades, building up unbearable pressure.
That’s why forgiveness is SO important.
I’m very, very poor at forgiveness. I feel like I deserve to be forgiven every time, for everything. After all, I’m never trying to make anyone upset (except “-“) and I usually ask for forgiveness. Some people can’t even bring themselves to ask. In that case, I usually put on my Karma hat and punish them for a while. Then maybe one day, when I’m bored and exhausted with that, I may forgive them. My terms only.
In light of that revelation, who could love me? That doesn’t reflect well on the other person; it’s mean and spiteful.
Resolution #1 for 2016: Free(er) flowing forgiveness.