“When you take on the role of the one who has been victimized in some way, you are taking on the perspective that you are superior…This allows you to feel that you are better than your victimizer, the one who is playing the role of villain in your life. When you release the need to be better, or righter than anyone else, you no longer need to create villains. You no longer need to play out that polarity of right and wrong. And you can see the other as being equal to you and as being co-creator with you in the event or the circumstance that you feel needs forgiveness.”
– Ophelia the Faerie channeled by Daniel Scranton
Ouch! Freaking ouch. Especially that bolded sentence.
I was settling in really well as the victim. As the superior. I hardly ever get to play superior, what with my hectic victim schedule, and all. I got a lot of validation from those I love, too. That was so appreciated while I was trying to continue to live my life in shock. A zombie.
But, I guess enough time has gone by now that I can entertain the above. I can’t forgive, yet, but I can see how maybe (most probably) the above is true. Even the part about being a co-creator. And, under “normal” circumstances, I don’t want to feel “superior” to anyone. I want to be this:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
– 1 Corinithians 13
It’s a long way from where I am to that.
But, finally, something truly resonates with me regarding forgiveness.