I have been reading everything I can on narcissism. And, I have been struggling lately about how to talk to other people about “-.” He’s not just an ex. He’s got pretty big problems, according to me, and my therapist, who has been hearing about him for the ten (on and off again) years that I’ve talking with her about my life issues. I can see, though, that some people get that look in their eye, like, that’s just a scorned woman talking.
And, I saw the other day someone wrote on the internet somewhere, “All ex-husbands can’t be narcissists.” That is undoubtedly true. However — mine is. I get a chill thinking about how our relationship was, how I thought it was, how it looked, and how hard I tried to make it ok.
Dealing with a narcissist is not ok. The aftermath is scary, and depressing, and some people will never get it, or believe the things I could tell them.
I have also been looking desperately for something on the internet that says there’s hope for him, and other narcs. So far no luck. Pretty much everyone with letters after their names say it’s a disorder that can’t be treated. A lot has to to with the fact that that a narcissist has no idea they need to seek treatment. Why treat a perfect person?
I hope that if someone is confiding in you that they are trying to escape the grip of a narcissist, and you are skeptical, you pull back a little. Know that unless you walk a mile in their shoes, you really don’t know enough to judge. We with narcissists in our lives will try to extend the same courtesy to you. And yes, I know women can be narcissists, too.
My therapist gave me a book yesterday to read for insight into my X. It’s called, Character Disturbance – The Phenomenon of Our Age, by George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D.
She said not to read it at night in the dark. Well, shit…