Serious shit

thE4RH19RHI have been reading everything I can on narcissism.  And, I have been struggling lately about how to talk to other people about “-.”  He’s not just an ex.  He’s got pretty big problems, according to me, and my therapist, who has been hearing about him for the ten (on and off again) years that I’ve talking with her about my life issues.  I can see, though, that some people get that look in their eye, like, that’s just a scorned woman talking.


And, I saw the other day someone wrote on the internet somewhere, “All ex-husbands can’t be narcissists.”  That is undoubtedly true.  However — mine is.  I get a chill thinking about how our relationship was, how I thought it was, how it looked, and how hard I tried to make it ok.


Dealing with a narcissist is not ok.  The aftermath is scary, and depressing, and some people will never get it, or believe the things I could tell them.

I have also been looking desperately for something on the internet that says there’s hope for him, and other narcs.  So far no luck.  Pretty much everyone with letters after their names say it’s a disorder that can’t be treated.  A lot has to to with the fact that that a narcissist has no idea they need to seek treatment.  Why treat a perfect person?


I hope that if someone is confiding in you that they are trying to escape the grip of a narcissist, and you are skeptical, you pull back a little.  Know that unless you walk a mile in their shoes, you really don’t know enough to judge.  We with narcissists in our lives will try to extend the same courtesy to you.  And yes, I know women can be narcissists, too.


My therapist gave me a book yesterday to read for insight into my X.  It’s called, Character Disturbance – The Phenomenon of Our Age, by George K. Simon, Jr., Ph.D.

She said not to read it at night in the dark.  Well, shit…

Moving on


7 thoughts on “Serious shit

  1. Oh gosh, thank you for this post. I’m currently in the devalue stage following a (very brief) second round with a classic narcissist, so I know how traumatic it is. Sometimes you feel you have to go over and over the experience repeatedly because the lines between what’s okay and what’s not are so blurred. Was I being needy or was he being cruel? Am I expecting too much? How would a ‘normal’ person behave (when trying to make sense of his latest treatment).

    It truly is crazy-making, so I hear you ❤ x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you for sharing that. Actually one of my fears is that I’ll slip right back into a relationship like that before I know it. It IS crazy-making! Hang in there with your situation. I will be thinking of you!


  3. Arrrrgh, I think I might need to get the book you mention. I’d never really heard of this disordered – other than the Christian Bale film American Psycho (which is extreme) – until now.
    The more I read, the more I’m thinking I need to explore this further.
    Great post. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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