Sometimes it’s Friday night and your realtor has two showings — one at 4 and one at 5. And, your ex can come over at 6 and look at the basement windows that your realtor says is scaring buyers. You don’t want to run into HIM so you go to BAM!
Not related to Emeril Lagasse (points if you know who this is). BAM stands for Books a Million. It used to be a Barnes & Noble but now it has a weird Christian-y bent to it. Which didn’t help me because I was looking for “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” by Jenny Lawson, not, I supposed, ever described as Christian-y.
I bought it from Amazon and read it on my phone after buying a whole milk iced mocha coffee drink from an overly enthusiastic, suspiciously too old, barista, who tried to up sell me a cookie. Whole milk has replaced kale, I understand, from those who worship/follow pop culture. Helps you absorb vitamins, or something, turns out. It was really good. Worth it.
I sat down after four souls were already reading in the dining area and left before the same four souls. All men.
A few more men came. One looked like his was in his 9th month with quintuplets and was circulating a flyer about his art show. Hmmm. He knew some of those souls.
I couldn’t reconcile it. I didn’t want to be there and felt like a loser even though I love bookstores. One guy sneezed eight times. No one looked up from their device. Time to go.
The book is fucking hilarious, however. Jenny Lawson is the The Bloggess who I am a recently obsessed with. You should check her out.
This is what was behind some plastic on one of the basement windows.
See that tiny door? Like a cat or dog door but it’s near the ceiling of my basement, and too small for a cat or dog. It looks like its for rats, or mice to come in. Chipmunks? Squirrels? WTF?
I don’t recommend this as a Friday night activity and I don’t recommend inviting small animals into your basement by providing them with a tiny swinging door. I do recommend the whole milk coffee mocha drink, however.