History is a know-it-all. Oh, and dad got married today.

This was going to be a continuation of my daughter’s struggles and her way through them.

She just texted me that I would be proud of her — she had an appointment with a counselor at school to talk about her issues.

“Oh, and dad got married today.  He told me in an email.  Triple whammy.”

Forget her play audition, the singing group she was rejected from.  We worked that through, I thought.  I mentioned that plays are a big time suck and she’s already in a singing group.  No need to join another.  Each group wants to think you care most about theirs.

I am in shock about her dad getting married, although, as history has taught me, that’s his pattern:  get remarried right away (this is 3) so it proves to everyone that you were serious about the new woman.  She wasn’t just a rebound.  Everyone can go back to trusting him and letting him (and her) back into their lives.

But, I’m not hurt.  My daughter and ex had had a fight, and things were strained, but it hurt her that he told her after the fact.  By email.

My hope is that it wasn’t an “event” that excluded her.  Like, for instance, did her brother know, but she didn’t?  Was he invited?  Was their grandmother invited?

I hope not, but I hope a lot of things, like that history would not be such an infallible predictor.

 

 

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5 thoughts on “History is a know-it-all. Oh, and dad got married today.

  1. Thinking of you and your sweet daughter, my friend. I went through the same remarriage “stuff” this summer with my ex (who married the last of several “other women”). Although it didn’t come as a surprise, theirs was a long engagement with all the frills and a large, expensive extravagant production of a wedding… so, not sure which is worse. As you said, some people/cheaters have the need to remarry quickly to validate their bad behavior. I found a strange sense of solace in that. Hugs.

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  2. Thank you. I’m just starting to cry. The tears are for me, now, for some reason. I think it’s the helplessness of him continuing to hurt her and not getting justice. I can’t believe this is my life.

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  3. There is nothing like divorce to bring people’s selfishness out into the open. I have watched it happen so many times in my own life. It is another one of the reasons that I admire how you are dealing with your own situation – you think about others involved and feel for them. You are definitely not all “me!me! me!” It will make the process harder for you, but it will also make that moment when you emerge from the tunnel all the more glorious.

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