Time Out, I’m Feeling Weird.


Tuesday after work I went to the Verizon store to get a discount that my company offers, but that no one told me about.  One of my co-workers happened to finally bring it up around me.  Off to the store I went for my 15% discount on my cell plan.

Could they help me with anything else?

Well, I was going to buy a laptop or iPad after Christmas, but while I was waiting for a “genius” or whatever Verizon calls them, I checked out the tablets and iPads.

Of course, the deals were on now.  They could even charge it to my cell phone bill and I could pay it in January.

So, I saved about $6 per month, and spent about $320, before I walked back out the door.

Then I went into Panera in the same strip mall.  I had a coupon for $3 off $15.  So, I bought a 1/2 sandwich for my dinner and a 1/2 salad for tomorrow’s lunch.  I got the discount.  I went home.  I ate both meals in one sitting.  Thank god they weren’t full meals, because I’m sure I would have eaten all that food, too, if it was in front of me.

I overspent, and overate, and have been overthinking…I’m exhausted.

Then this happened:

I emailed my co-workers the next morning.  I had a….migraine…and couldn’t make it in.

It was sort of a migraine, in the sense that overwrought spending, eating, and thinking can cause a major “remorse” headache.  I didn’t know what was going on with me, let alone articulate it to people I work with.

I stayed in bed.  All day.  I caught up on all my Netflix.

I thought I had taken 24 hours to reset, but at work the next day, I was horrified at how easily I discussed the fact that I was out of migraine medication, how I was scared to have a migraine, living alone now, like I do.  Yes, I would call my doctor.

What.  The.  Fuck’s.  Wrong.  With.  Me?!

I need to stop lying RIGTHT NOW and HANDLE MY SHIT as my college-aged daughter says.

Time out, I’m feeling weird.



One thought on “Time Out, I’m Feeling Weird.

  1. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Your workplace/ society / system is telling you that now is the time to work work work. Your physical / natural / biological system is telling you that now is the time to hibernate and conserve energy. If you feel the need to take a day for yourself – do it! Without guilt.

    Liked by 1 person

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