The last dance

Email —

Him:  It’s less than half of what I thought it was going to be.  I know the court decree said we would split it, but I’d like to offer you the whole amount to wrap this last piece up amicably.

My friend:  Take it.

Me:  The difference between what you told me it was going to be, and what it is, is $_________.  I prefer that you “offer” me half of that difference and I’ll chalk it up to 25 years of a lesson in naivete.

Him:  I’ll have to think about your counter offer.

Me:  Tell me what she decides.

Him:  Cute.  We agreed that it was not worth arguing with you.  I’ll send you the check next week.

Me:  If that’s the case, make it an even $__________.  We would appreciate that.


Him.  No thanks.

Me:  Uh…rhetorical, but ok.

Him:  Since you decided never to take responsibility for your part of the failed relationship blah, blah, blah.  I’m just stupid for hoping you’ll change your mind eventually.

Me to myself:  Well, you got that last part right.  And I’m better off finally knowing he’ll never change anything, either.

Will I get the check next week?  I’m not holding my breath.


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