untitledFrom the daughter:

Dad bought a truck that looks just like your boyfriend’s.

Dad is taking me to Paris on an overnight train.

Dad is doing a lot of biking.

Dad bought a sailboat.

From the old neighbor:

They’re painting your house.  It’s sage.  Looks nice.

From the mom:





Un-wifed, un-homeownered, un-friended

So, this woman at work is mad at me for asking someone else a question about something that is her responsibility.

I’m sorry?

I guess?

I said so.

I wasn’t all that diplomatic or calm.

I was upset, too.

I can’t remember that I should have asked her about this particular thing.  The boundaries and lines aren’t that sharp in my office. I am still working out getting completely financially separated from the “marital home” and retirement account.  My X is scarring my daughter daily with his thoughtless conduct, work has been brutal time and content wise…

and I’m an airhead.

I wasn’t very PC, but I did talk to her directly, and I did apologize.

She had made a big deal at a meeting about going directly to the person you have a beef with instead of around their back.  Then she told my friend about how mad she was at me.

That’s when I asked to talk with her alone.

Now she has “unfriended” me on Facebook.

Unfortunately, her passive-aggressive behaviors are very familiar to me….

Oh, yes…


Was that way, I should say.  It’s very shitty to be on the other end of that, and I get it now.  I’m going to try to change.

Un-friended, un-wifed, un-homeownered.



She has a new Facebook page and my old last name

Yes, I went looking for a picture I had seen of her on her workplace page.

Image result for facebook surfing

I feel like something is up (I think I’m a little psychic) and I went poking around.

The picture wasn’t there.  Her name wasn’t in the directory.

Did she change jobs?

Oh, no, she started a new Facebook page, a couple of days before they got married.  Funny, I couldn’t have one.  No. Internet. Presence.

Either she convinced him it was ok for her to have one, they are using it to keep track of my children, or he doesn’t know she started another one.  Her old Facebook page disappeared one day, erasing her past life as she is doing in real time.

Her profile picture is her in all her…unfortunate…glory at my family’s favorite restaurant.

Bad Picture
Her First Name
My Last Name


My “old” husband will (maybe) show up on that page and my children as well.  Why did I do this again?!

Actually, her new last name is my old last name.  Just like all her new “stuff” is my “old” stuff.

Good luck with that, sister!



History is a know-it-all. Oh, and dad got married today.

This was going to be a continuation of my daughter’s struggles and her way through them.

She just texted me that I would be proud of her — she had an appointment with a counselor at school to talk about her issues.

“Oh, and dad got married today.  He told me in an email.  Triple whammy.”

Forget her play audition, the singing group she was rejected from.  We worked that through, I thought.  I mentioned that plays are a big time suck and she’s already in a singing group.  No need to join another.  Each group wants to think you care most about theirs.

I am in shock about her dad getting married, although, as history has taught me, that’s his pattern:  get remarried right away (this is 3) so it proves to everyone that you were serious about the new woman.  She wasn’t just a rebound.  Everyone can go back to trusting him and letting him (and her) back into their lives.

But, I’m not hurt.  My daughter and ex had had a fight, and things were strained, but it hurt her that he told her after the fact.  By email.

My hope is that it wasn’t an “event” that excluded her.  Like, for instance, did her brother know, but she didn’t?  Was he invited?  Was their grandmother invited?

I hope not, but I hope a lot of things, like that history would not be such an infallible predictor.